Be generous with yourself. Give less.
The same pattern seems to be repeated over and over in all relationships. At the same time, all our relationships have a common denominator: ourselves. Whether at work, in love or in our family relationships, we invest ourselves. We give of our time, our energy.
We give a lot, almost without being aware of it. I say almost, because even if it is by automatism, our body and our mind realize it. The reflex to get another piece of cake to keep our hands and minds busy when a family member starts the umpteenth complaint speech about his child. The tendency to reach into the candy bag when our boss gives us yet another reflection on the quality of our work and the reminder of the deadline. All these symptoms are evidence of the disease of « taking it upon oneself ».
This expression already says a lot: « to take on oneself ». To take a part of ourselves because the others do not give us enough. Or having to dip into one’s own reserves because one has the feeling of having to give, again, of not being able to say « stop, I can’t take it anymore. I have no more energy. I don’t want to listen to you anymore. »
Knowing how to « take it easy », how to control yourself is of course a not insignificant skill to have in order to achieve the goals you have set for yourself or even just to be considered a « good friend », a « good sister », or even a good « girl ». But it’s important to ask ourselves what this is costing us. When do we pay ourselves back for all the energy we have taken from ourselves to give to others? When do we pay back our own debt?
No value judgement here, but the need to remember that everything we give: our time, our energy, our money are resources that have value. If you want to give these resources, good for you, but remember to recharge. Take time for yourself, protect your time and energy from people who covet it. Be meticulous about where you spend your time. Because you’ll be footing the bill. Always.
Take care of yourself. Be generous with yourself. Give less.